Why you need to be selfish while you’re pregnant
Being pregnant was great and all but it was really hard and I wish I had been more selfish.
Here’s the deal: when you’re pregnant, it’s nine months of not just taking care of yourself but the tiny human you’re going inside of you. Most of the time people are going to tell you that during those nine months it’s not about you anymore that it’s about that little tiny precious baby growing inside of you.
The matter of the fact though is that we need to be selfish as hell during those nine months. Because, when that baby is born, it really truly is no longer just about ourselves or our partner. Pregnancy is difficult; From the swollen hands and feet to the inability to eat what you want, and constant and relentless cravings you feel.
Above image is circa 2013, three months before Fox was born.
While you’re taking care of your unborn child, you’re taking care of yourself like I said. You’re eating right, taking all your vitamins, exercising when you need to (when you can), and trying your best to sleep well every night. Being pregnant is fun, despite some of the cons. A lot of women give up a little bit of themselves when they tell the World a baby is coming.
Everyone wants to start telling you what to do and touching your belly. And honestly, it’s such an invasion of privacy. As a society, we need to give pregnant women the space to be who they are before they can’t be entirely themselves any longer. We need to let pregnant women be as selfish as they want (within reasonable means) before they sacrifice more than just their body.
While I was pregnant I wish I had been 100 times more selfish (other than the blueberry pancakes maybe). I never told anyone how bothered I was by people just touching my belly when they felt like it, I never told people to give me my personal space, I was complacent in the idea that I just couldn’t do anything for myself anymore. If I could go back and be a little more selfish, I would have gone on my walks, felt less guilty about eating some sweets, and encouraged myself to enjoy a little more self-care.
Here are a few reasons why I think pregnant women should be selfish before the baby comes. And most of these reasons are coming from my own personal experience of being pregnant.
Let them be sleepy.
Pregnant women are growing another human inside of them. Do you know how difficult that is? Do you know how much of our body were sacrificing? Not to mention the elevated amounts of hormones, and energy that we’re giving to this unborn child makes us super sleepy. If you’re pregnant friend or wife or partner wants to sleep all day, freaking let them.
If your pregnant friend cancels on you because they’re just too tired and need to sleep more, let it go. It’s nothing against you, it’s just the simple fact that they’re not getting enough sleep because they can’t sleep in any position that’s comfortable anymore.
Women need a distraction from worrying.
When you find out that you’re pregnant, you’re usually really excited, or super nervous. Whether you’re happy or neutral about a baby joining your family, it’s still an exciting time for women and their partners. With that said if mom wants to be selfish and go and ditch a day of work, or do more self-care than usual, let her.
Distracting herself from the fact that she’s going to have to push a 7 to 10-pound tiny human out of her in a few months means that she really wants to be able to take advantage of relaxing before she hast to suffer even more physically.
And aside from that, once you know a baby on the way you want to start taking more time to do all of the things that you couldn’t do if you had a child at that moment. Morning sickness happens, it might stop us from doing certain things, but while you’re expecting you should expect to do many of the things you love.
If you want to go hiking, go hiking. If you’re going to swim, shop, take a spa day, travel a little bit, or whatever, just do it. And maybe bring along a friend or partner to make the experience a bit of fun.
What is me-time?
There have been many, many, many nights where I have hidden in our bathroom in the bathtub with a glass of wine or a bottle of beer just trying to find some peace and quiet in our house of chaos. The last time I had “me time,” and I mean honestly, I can’t even remember.
Once you have kids at school, lunches, playdates, picking up toys, changing clothes, washing clothes, cleaning the house, and so many other obnoxious things.
“me time” is not picking up the house.
“me time” is not the seven hours of work I get done in the day by myself.
“me time” is not running errands for the household.
While you’re pregnant, you still have the opportunity to take advantage of so much extra “me time.” Take the opportunity to be selfish because soon you won’t have any time for yourself taking care of a family is tough work.
Because I can’t have all the cookies, I want.
During my first pregnancy, I was a little overly selfish when it came to food. So much so that I can gain 50 pounds while I was pregnant. How did I gain that 50 pounds? Half of it was the fact that I could not eat anything in the first two trimesters.
That was of course, except for blueberry pancakes. Do you know how much weight you can gain just by eating nothing but carbs all the time? It’s a lot. And when you’re the body type where carbs latch on to every single living cell in your body, it’s a recipe for disaster.
So earlier this year when I got pregnant, I was really focused on trying to eat as healthy as possible. But honestly eating healthy 100% of the time sucks a lot. You can blame the cravings on that. Trying to eat healthy, drinking water all the time, and staying away from junk food is incredibly important when you’re growing a child. Being selfless in this matter allows any Mom to be selfish otherwise. So rather than binging on blueberry pancakes 100% of the time Indulge occasionally. And if you eat an entire cake, don’t sweat it. Take a couple extra walks and eat extra healthy in the coming days.
Because everyone is touching her.
If I had a dollar for every time someone walked up to me and put their hand on my swollen belly while I was pregnant, I would have been a millionaire by now. For whatever weird reason when you become pregnant, your bubble is nonexistent. No one has any decency to ask permission for putting their hand on your belly. They just walk right up to you and do it and ask you how far along you are. Everyone has personal space, and pregnant women have 10 times the amount of their own space.
If you’re a mom with kids and you’re pregnant, you’re already being touched unwillingly by all of your kids and your partner all day long. So having to get touched by strangers, your doctor, and just the general invasive nature of being pregnant, you don’t want anyone touching you.
And now that we mention the doctor’s office, would you like to have something strapped to your belly every time you walk into the doctor or have to drink certain kinds of liquids or have your blood drawn all the time? I don’t think so.
Give pregnant women their damn space.
Lastly, because being pregnant is both amazing and shitty.
I’ll be frank, I both loved and hated being pregnant. I loved how I was experiencing this fantastic creation happening inside me. I hated everything that happened in the doctor’s office as well as the constant puking every single morning.
Some women are fortunate enough to never experience any of the physical ailments most pregnant women typically do during their pregnancy. When I was pregnant, I had morning sickness every single morning. The only time I didn’t have any morning sickness was in the last month of pregnancy, and even then, I traded out the morning sickness for not being able to eat a single piece of food because I was so huge.
Pregnant women have an influx of hormones surging throughout their body constantly. We can cry at the drop of a hat like literally dropping a hat could make a pregnant woman cry, and we could become so incredibly in raged by a cupcake store not having a chocolate cupcake available. There is no rhyme or reason to why a pregnant woman may be feeling the way she feels that makes sense to anyone but her.
Pregnancy overall is a fantastic experience. When you have a supportive, loving partner at your side that can make your pregnancy so much better than going at it alone. And the selfish part is it just for pregnant women, it’s for their partners too! Whoever you’re in a relationship with Ann going to be having a baby with needs to be able to have their own freedom and “me time” as well. You’re both going to be losing out on the opportunity to go and do whatever you want whenever you want very soon. So take advantage of being semi-childless for the next nine months.
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